| Zack was a conservative and modest man, and he did not know what the word "nudist" meant. Although he could read - but poorly - he did know, after looking for some time at the wedding invitation which he had received, that he had been invited to attend. Whatever a "nudist" wedding might be, he had no idea, but weren't folks now-a-days using a lot of strange words that had never made their way to his farm (which had been his father's farm, his grandfather's farm)? He decided to go. His cousin Beth was to be married. Although he was not well acquainted with her -- she had fled the rural area of farms and chickens, gardening and hog pens, to live in a city not far away -- but after all, she was family. Getting to the address given in the invitation was not a simple matter for someone like Zack. He was a highly intelligent man -- even intuitive and creative -- but he lacked some of the social skills and knowledge which pervade the world of those who are not semi-isolated on a rural farm like his. He was not surprised therefore that he got lost a few times (partly to blame was that he kept looking at the fancy homes he saw). But he was surprised -- no, astonished is a better word -- when he got to a driveway of a beautiful house, and there was a gate that had to be opened for him to pass through -- and an attendent told him: "You have to take off all your clothes, sir." Of course he had heard wrong. That man could not have said what Zack thought he had said. "What?" asked Zack. "You have to take off all your clothes to go to the wedding." Zack could only stare at the man. He tried to speak, but could not. He was wide-eyed, and his mouth hung open. "What?" he managed to ask again. "I said, sir, that you have to take off all your clothes to go to the wedding." "Now you look here" he said to the man. "Maybe you think I am crazy, or maybe this is just a joke. But cousin Beth is getting married and I am going to the wedding, and I shore ain't going naked." "Oh, Beth is your cousin! Of course you can go. We have an area for guests who wear clothes, and you can sit there." So Zack went to the special area. There were only half a dozen people there, none of whom Zack knew. It did seem odd to him, that the area was curtained off, but the wedding had not yet begun. He heard voices and laughter as guests beyond the curtains mingled, joked, and talked. Then there was a hush, the curtains swung open and the guests -- all of them gloriously naked, were returning to their seats to wait for the bride and groom. The effect on Zack was catastrophic. Again his mouth fell open, his eyes stared wide, his heart thumping. His knuckles were white, his fists clinched in an effort to retain his sensibilities. "I ain't never seen no such thing in my life" he later told his wife. "A whole room full of naked people. Men and Women -- and even the preacher. All of them naked, I tell you. Dear God, I am not lying. They didn't have a stitch of clothes on". Zack made several wrong turns as he drove home in a daze. "I ain't never seen, I ain't never seen" he kept muttering as he drove. "Those people are crazy." Unfortunately, the strange experience had somehow altered Zach's perceptions. When he got home his wife met him at the door. To Zack, she sppeared naked. His daughter Sue came into the room -- "Hi Dad, how was the wedding." And Sue appeared naked. At times, for a week or so, the neighbors also appeared naked. Gradually the effect of the disaster wore off and people began appearing fully clothed. But now, Zach knew the meaning of "NUDIST" . He would always know the meaning of "NUDIST". ### |